Saturday, October 30, 2010

A good day followed by...

a not so great week.

On Tuesday I wrote about it being a good day. And it was a good day.

A really good day.

But then there arrived Wednesday, Thursday and Friday - three days when work really ramped up to warp speed 10, husband was out of town, and my energy level/motivation for cooking, exercising and generally doing things to take care of myself kind of plummeted to virtually nothing.

Now, compared to the days when I was really indulging in some horrifically irresponsible eating choices that involved french fries, ice cream, candy bars, sour cream and all things fried, what I actually consumed on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday would be considered downright healthy.

What was not so great is that I ended up at restaurants two of the three nights and twice for lunch. Made healthy choices given what was on the menus (things like grilled salmon with grilled asparagus and steamed broccoli or tofu with asparagus and ginger), but the reality is that restaurant food is still restaurant food.

Add in one more restaurant meal today when I picked up husband from the airport (again, still made a good choice) and I'm not exactly feeling especially virtuous.

Couple my restaurant outings with a distinct lack of exercise on these same three days and I'm guessing that weigh-in on Monday is not going to be pretty.

However... everyday is a do-over...a new opportunity to make healthy choices.

And so late this afternoon I hauled my keester over to the gym for 25 minutes of lower body weight lifting and 40 minutes of biking.

Tomorrow is the Spooky 5K Run that we signed up for through the Fall Fitness Challenge.

Hopefully it will be another good day.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A good day

Today is a good day so far.

Why?

Because today is the first day in several years that I looked in a mirror - the giant mirror in the free weight area at the gym - and saw me...Well, a hint of the me that I used to look like before I gained all of the weight.

Granted, today's me is still a heavy version of me. But this version has a waist again. There's a face that isn't completely round, but instead has more than a hint of cheekbones and just a hint of hollows beneath those cheekbones.

This me has a womanly shape again.

This new me has thighs that are curvy, getting firm and starting show some muscle...not thighs that look like lumpy, saggy, jiggly sacks of potatoes. And a middle that - while certainly not flat - is looking less and less like I'm 7 months pregnant.

This version of me even has a hint of collar bones.

Collar bones. Holy crapballs. Can't remember when I last saw those.

The whole package is starting to look like something I recognize. Something that I took for granted back when I was at a normal BMI because back then I always thought that I was fat.

And then I actually got fat. Really fat.

For a long time I was in denial about being fat. I ignored my body as much as possible. Made excuses. Didn't look in mirrors. When my clothes got too tight, I just bought new ones.

Now that I'm on the way back down to a normal BMI (and I WILL get there) - I'm realizing what I should have known all along -  that back when I just thought I was fat, I was actually thin and pretty and just didn't know it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not satisfied with this current version of me - this incarnation that's still a few sticks of butter away from being overweight instead of obese and more than a few sticks of butter away from being normal. But I like this version a whole lot better than the one who didn't care about herself and let herself get obese.

So, today is a good day.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Weigh-in day

If one does not follow one's eating plan to the letter...one does not lose weight.

No weight loss this week.

I knew it was coming, but even when it's expected...it still kinda sucks.

Sigh.

However, on the flip side...today's weigh-in did motivate me to hit the gym tonight after work. And, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I loathe going to the gym after a long day at work.

And today was one of those long days at work.

But I got myself to the gym to do some lower body weight lifting and lots of different kinds of crunches.

Three good things happen at the gym this evening. No, wait - actually four good things:
  1. I happen upon my husband at the gym during his personal training session and am pleased to see that he looks like he's having a good time with trainer D.
  2. A man who is not my husband gives me an up-and-down-seriously-checking-me-out kind of look and then gives me a nice smile. It's been a really, really long time since a man who is not my husband has looked at me in that way.
  3. My husband comes over to the free weight area to chat for a minute before he runs off to do errands. I'm standing on a step doing calf raises. Chris says to me, "You look really sexy when you exercise." What a lovely husband I have. I haven't felt at all sexy in a really, really long time. 
  4. I lay down on a mat to do my crunches. Between sets I rest my hand on Bernice and - miraculously! - when I'm laying down she's actually almost flat! Let me lose another 80 sticks of butter and its, "Bye bye, Bernice!!!"
So, even though no sticks of butter melted away this past week, it's still all good.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Downs and ups

Down...Not so much success this week following my eating plan.

Hmm.

Some long work days and a few days of just feeling ravenous no matter what I ate sent me in some eating directions that were - while not terrible - definitely not on plan and probably filled with more calories than really necessary.

Tomorrow's weigh-in will likely be...disappointing, but not unexpected.

However...

There are ups this past week as well.

Friday night Team Torture. I do not run treadmill intervals. As much as I want to participate in all aspects of the Fall Fitness Challenge, I have come to the conclusion that for now...running is just not for me. Perhaps in another 20 or 30 pounds I'll be able to run a little bit, but for now me trying to run leads to nothing but frustration and upset.

And I just don't need frustration and upset at this stage of the game.

What I need is to feel like I'm making progress and moving forward.

So, on Friday I join the group of people who also opt out of treadmill work and instead get on the elliptical trainers for elliptical intervals.

My elliptical machine is set for a 10% incline at level 1. I leave it there. Trainer W leads the intervals. 2 minutes low-intensity and 2 minutes high-intensity intervals...for 24 minutes. Trainer D hops on the treadmill next to me to do the intervals with me. When it comes time to bump it up for the high interval, I bump it up to level 3.

"C'mon, let's put that on 5," Trainer D says peering over at my machine.

So, to level 5 we go.

Sure enough within seconds I am breathing very, very hard. Not quite sucking wind, but pretty damn close. In through the nose. Out through the mouth.

My breathing sounds really loud to me.

The first high-intensity two minute interval feels like an eternity. Rather than watch the time elapse on the machine's display panel, I just close my eyes and try to keep breathing. My heart is racing. Sweat is already pouring down my forehead and dripping off of my nose. So very attractive.

When I arrive at home close to 9 p.m., Chris asks me, "So, how'd you do?"

"30 minutes on the elliptical. D made me go to level 5 for the high-intensity intervals. I kind of wanted to die, but I did it."

"You're really sweaty," he says.

"Yeah."

"So, was D helpful while you were doing the intervals?"

"I don't know. She was talking to me the whole time. I'm sure she was saying all kinds of encouraging really things, but I have no idea what they were. I just kept my eyes closed and was pretty focused on breathing, not passing out and not falling off of the elliptical trainer!"

Chris laughs.

But, here's the thing, I did it. I made it through all of the intervals. Didn't feel very good toward the end. Getting my breath was hard, but I didn't give up.

Surprisingly, even though I'm bone tired on Friday when I get home and even more tired when I wake up on Saturday morning, I haul myself to the gym for Low-n-Loaded - thinking that if I make it through even half of the class it will be a friggin' miracle. But once we get started it actually goes pretty well. I still find myself needing to march in place during a few of the intervals, but I manage to do probably 90% of everything she has us doing.

Improvement!

So, some downs and ups this past week. We'll see about this coming week. My work schedule is crazed with numerous client presentations. Eating could be an issue, but I'm going to try my very hardest to stay on plan.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Full...urgh

OK, so I have to confess big time...I ate too much tonight.

We went to a gathering at my mother-in-law's and there was a lot of good food. A lot of food not on my eating plan. And thankfully, quite a lot of healthy good food, too.

I didn't really even eat anything "bad" this evening. Avoided all of the yummy looking desserts, the amazing breads from Seven Stars Bakery, the multigrain chips. Nope, didn't eat any of that.

But what did I do instead?...I ate way too much of the good stuff.  At first, I just razed a little bit on veggies, dip and rice crackers. Then had a big plate of salad so I wouldn't eat too much of the entree. Then ate too much of the entree anyway!

Oops.

In terms of the way I used to eat, what I ate this evening would seem like very little. But since I've started eating responsibly... what I ate tonight seemed like a lot of food and tonight I did not make very responsible choices. I sat right next to the food while socializing. I should have just walked away.

But I didn't.

Did I need a "little more" of the main course? No, of course not! But I ate it anyway.

And now I am paying the price of overindulgence.

I'm feeling horribly uncomfortable (think it might be time to unbutton these jeans) and actually a little bit sick to my stomach.

Somehow I have the feeling that Monday weigh-in is going to be baaaaad.

Too full...urgh.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Mixed bag

Today's post is going to be a weird mixed bag of stuff...because my thoughts are kind of a jumble. 

Reflections on missing my BMI-in-the-20s goal this past week. 

As you may have guessed from my last post, I was...ummmm...just a teeny tiny bit upset. (Actually, I think "distraught" might be the word that best describes my feelings of this past Monday.)

Really - I know that it's kind of stupid to have let myself get so worked up about missing the goal by so little, but... what can I say? I thought that after all of my hard work the week before that I had the goal in the bag and when it didn't happen...

Catastrophe! Disaster! How could I have missed it??? Gnashing of teeth!

Depression...

In any case, I've moved on. I'm over it. Hoping fervently that I'll make my BMI-in-the-20s at the next weigh-in. However, if it doesn't happen at the next weigh-in then I am not going to allow myself to get all worked up about it. It'll happen when it happens. I'll just keep eating right, getting myself to the gym and doing what I'm supposed to do.

Reflections on Boot Camp

So, last Sunday...Boot Camp Team Challenge!

Amazingly, I manage a pretty good showing.

The Boot Camp is held outside at one of our beautiful state parks by the water. The wind is kind of crazy and it's pretty darn chilly, but otherwise it's sunny and lovely. We start with running and walking. There are 4 groups: fast run, medium run, slow run and walk.

Guess which one I choose?

I'll reflect on my walk in the next section.

After the walk/run, we hit the boot camp stations in groups of three.  At each station we engage in 4 intervals of each exercise. Each interval lasts for 25 seconds. The exercises: step up, plank, side plank, chest presses, overhead lifts, walking squats, walking lunges, standing rows, crunches, and a few others.

The only exercises that completely do me in are the planks. Since I have virtually no core strength (d@#$ you, Bernice!), I manage one regular plank for a grand total of like 10 seconds (it may be more like it's 8 seconds...I'm not really counting...Bernice is too busy saying, "Are you out of your mind??? I can't do this!") before collapsing in a pathetic heap on the mat.

Pitiful.

Bernice and I give up quickly, but do crunches in place of the plank so at least my abs are getting a workout.

Pretty much same story with the side plank. No core strength. And this one is even worse - I manage to stay up for a whopping 5 seconds before falling out of the position.

Absolutely pathetic.

But aside from that I actually complete all of the other exercises. Oh, I'm huffing and puffing as I'm trying to get through each 25 second interval (who knew that 25 seconds could seem like an ETERNITY???), but I get through them. Some better and with more confidence than others. I'm surprised to find myself doing well with the walking squats. And the upper body lifting - not too bad on that front either.

The truth is that I had been very anxious all week about Boot Camp - afraid that I won't be able to do the exercises at all and end up feeling foolish and looking lame. The planks kind of suck and I feel kind of like a major wimp for not being able to do them, but I am so pleased about completing everything else that it kind of takes the sting out of my plank failure.


In between

So, I mentioned above that Boot Camp starts with 20 minutes of running or walking. Since it is well established that I am not much of a runner, I choose to join the walking group led by trainer N.

"We're gonna walk 10 minutes out and 10 minutes back," N announces as she leads us to our starting point, a wide asphalt path that runs along the bay. It's beautiful.

The slow running group has already taken off ahead of us.

As we start our 20 minute walk I realize pretty quickly if I walk at the group's pace that it isn't going to be much of a workout for me. Their pace is pretty relaxed. So, I decide to pick up my pace to one that will get my heart rate up.

I take off on my own.

Short quick strides with my arms at 90 degree angles and pumping hard, I quickly leave the walking group behind. For most of the walk I find myself at the half-way point between the walkers and the slow runners. I'm sweating, my heart is pumping pretty well, I'm not sucking wind, but I'm breathing hard and feeling good.

On the return trip, the slow walkers spread out far behind me. Trainer N catches up with me and we walk together for the last three minutes or so.

"Wow," says N, "you walk REALLY fast."

I do?

Yeah, I guess I do.

It's funny, but over the course of the Fall Fitness Challenge I have complained bitterly about my inability to run. About the fact that every time I start to run I end up sucking wind and I have to stop. Maybe this means that I'll never be a runner. And yet, here I am 6 weeks into this thing and I'm fairly certain that I have become a much faster, stronger and more efficient walker.

So I'm not a runner. Big deal. But I'm not a slow walker either...I guess that I'm something somewhere in between.



Am I OK with that?

Yes. I think I am.

Monday, October 18, 2010

ARGHH!!!

Well, crapballs.

Weigh-in day today.

Weight lost = 136.8 sticks of butter to date (5.6 sticks of butter lost this past week)

BMI = 30.09

I missed a BMI in the 20s by 2.8 sticks of butter!!!

Just 2.8 sticks of butter shy of being considered "overweight" instead of "obese."

D@#$! D@#$! D@#$!

Crapballs.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Saturday - FFC week 5 Day 7

Last night...no gas left in the tank.

I just CRASHED last night. Big time.

I leave the office a bit early thinking that I'll head home to get some stuff done before Team Training at the gym, but I can hardly keep my eyes open on the drive home and my arms and legs feel like they have lead weights in them. After my totally crazy work week, the big workout I put in the night before and the fall allergies that have been plaguing me all week, I realize upon arriving at home that I just don't have anything left.

Completely running on empty.

So I call and leave a message saying that I'm not feeling well, climb into my jammies, and hit the couch.

Doze through two movies.

Then go to bed.

As a result of a night off from Fall Fitness Challenge Team Training and a decent night's sleep, I arrive this morning at "Low-n-Loaded" feeling pretty good. I still don't quite make it through every single exercise, but I definitely see signs of improvement. A move that instructor D had us do 5 weeks ago that at the time left me sucking wind after only 15 seconds...today I'm able to make it almost all the way through the interval and only have to march in place for the last 15 seconds.

It feels like a HUGE victory!

I'm getting stronger everyday. There are little signs of improvement all of the time.

Today after class I don't just head home, but because I feel rested and good, I hit the treadmill for 2.37 miles. And not just 2.37 miles of a gentle walk. Instead, I ramp up the speed to 4 mph and the incline to 2%. Doing this after a class would have been absolutely UNTHINKABLE just a few short weeks ago, but today...I decide that since I had missed Team Training last night that I should get in the cardio that I missed.

Big changes. 

How about you? What changes are you noticing in your weight loss journey?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

A better day today

Eating today...not so terrible. Not fantastic. But not like yesterday.

And exercise today - AWESOME.

Yep, 25 minutes of lower body weight lifting on the cable machines. Went for heavier weights this session.

Then it was on to the rowing machine where I pounded out 1,000 meters! (OK, don't actually be too terribly impressed by that...1,000 meters takes like 6 minutes. However, I find the rowing machine to be very challenging and I'm not really all that fond of it, so I was pleased to have stayed on for 6 minutes and 1,000 meters. )

And then I forced myself on to one of the recumbent bikes for 45 minutes and 16.29 miles.

So, one day of not-so-great choices and an overabundance of calories is not going to derail me.

Just need to keep reminding myself: 

Failure is not an option...but neither is perfection.

Everyday is a new opportunity to make healthy choices.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Confession time

OK, so I totally have to cop to the fact that my eating today....TERRIBLE.

Too many calories. Not mindful of how much I eat. Too much fat. Totally off eating plan.

I have four presentations this morning in three separate locations on a fairly tight timeline. My first significant presentations of my busy season. Needless to say - a little nervous and focused on doing a good job.

The first two run from 8:00 - 9:30 a.m. After I get all of my materials put away, hop in my car and head to the next one. I'll just make it on time for Presentation #3 at 10:00 a.m.

Presentation #3 runs long because there are some technical difficulties with the computer. Once said difficulties are resolved the presentation is fine, but now I'm late for Presentation #4, which is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. However, my Presentation #3 client is kind enough to call the folks at my next destination (same company, different branch) to give them the heads up that I'll be late.

Jump in my car and dash away. Definitely not going to make it in time.  I arrive at 11:30. Luckily my contact there actually figures before the call that I'll be late. He tells me, "I told every one 11:30 because I figured there would be traffic."

So, what does all of this have to do with my crappy eating today?

Nowhere in all that dashing about does it occur to me that I need to eat a mid-morning snack (especially dumb because I had a light breakfast.) I am so focused on getting where I need to be and reviewing my presentation in my head that I just completely forget to eat (I even have snacks packed in the car for these kind of days!!!)

So, by 12:15 when all of my presentations are done... RAVENOUS because I haven't eaten anything in fiver hours.

Rather conveniently, my last presentation takes place in the same plaza as my favorite Thai restaurant. Screw the green beans, celery and hummus in my cooler!!! Give me Thai food!!!!

And so I revert back to old behavior...I take myself and my book into the restaurant and proceed to order Pad Thai. Veggies and tofu - Nope! It's Pad Thai for me!!!

And do I eat just half of the generous serving of Pad Thai??

Nope. Before I even realize it, I down the whole plate.

[At this point, our heroine shakes her head in disgust with herself]

An ENTIRE PLATE of Pad Thai. Holy crapballs!

Mindless eating.

Comforting myself with food.

Bad old behavior.

So, of course I don't bother to eat a mid-afternoon snack because I've eaten all of that yummy Pad Thai. I have an apple on my way to the gym at 7:00 p.m. and then come home to a very healthy dinner for which I am not at all hungry, but I eat anyway.

And did I really need the homemade Pumpkin Oatmeal Cup after dinner??? Nope.

Did I eat it anyway? Yes.

Yeah, I kind of suck today.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

On the verge of

collapse...

Very early meeting today 30 minutes from home and had to be there 30 minutes before the start of the meeting to set up... so no gym this a.m.

Meeting went really well.

The rest of the day kind of went downhill from there. Was supposed to bring some materials to a client, but discovered to my chagrin that I had left a key piece at my office a 45-minute drive away. So, back to my office where I figured that I'd call and let them know that I'd have to make the delivery tomorrow. Luckily one of my colleagues was going back down that way later in the day so I didn't have to make the call.

Another client announced that they are moving up some meetings by several weeks and suddenly I have to have their materials prepped and ready for next week. Along with the materials for another major client.

Aaaaaaiiiieeeeee!!!

You see where this is heading, don't you?

I didn't leave my office until 8:00 p.m. this evening.

Guess where I did not go today?

If you guessed "the gym" you would be right!

Tomorrow isn't looking much better.  Crapballs.

So, I'm going to hit the sack in order to attempt a 5:00 a.m. wake up to get to the gym. Need to be back here no later than 6:30 because I have to leave my house for my early meeting no later than 7:15.

Wish me luck.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Disappointment

The number on the scale is heading in the right direction...down.

However, the number isn't low enough today.

Yesterday when I step on the scale it reflects a total weight loss of 140 sticks of butter. Yay!

Today for the official weigh-in when I step on the scale it reads quite clearly that I've lost a total of 132 sticks of butter. Still "yay!"...but not quite so much.

Apparently I was pretty dehydrated yesterday or somehow I gained 8 entire sticks of butter in just 24 hours.

I guess the biggest disappointment is that if yesterday's weigh-in had proven to be true, that would mean that I  am just .07 shy of being classified as "overweight" via BMI vs. "obese." So as of today I am still .37 away from hitting the 29.9 BMI that I want to hit.

Still obese.

Disappointment.

But it also means that if I work out hard this week and stick as closely as I can to my eating plan, chances are that next week I'll be celebrating a BMI in the 20s instead of the 30s.

Next week.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Out of breath

I believe the phrase "sucking wind" applies to me whenever I find myself attempting any kind of very vigorous exercise.

This past Friday night...Team Training again...Treadmill Running Intervals Round #2.

Argh.

We're supposed to do .25 miles at a low-intensity brisk walk or slow jog. Then .5 miles at our high-intensity interval - for me this is supposed to be 4.9 mph.

Ummm....yeah....not so much.

I manage to get the treadmill going up to 4.6 mph for .18 miles, but am so out of breath (aka "sucking wind") after less than a quarter mile that I drop back down to a more reasonable 3.9 mph. My breathing takes several minutes to sort itself into something less frantic and intense.

"How are you doing over here" trainer A asks as he peers over my treadmill readout to see that I am back down in the "low-intensity" interval.

"Old, fat and tired," I huff at him in frustration.

"Well, I wouldn't agree with those first two," he says carefully, obviously somewhat taken aback by my gruff answer.

He chats with me a bit about the fact that I'm so out of breath and eventually ends the conversation by saying, "No one expects every single person in the Challenge to be able to run a mile. That's not what this is about. It's about losing weight and getting fit."

Thanks, A, appreciate the kind words, although if I can't jog my mile at 4.9 mph on the last day of the Challenge then it means that I will not reach my fit goal of lopping 20% off of my original run (actually that would be WALK) time.

So, while everyone else pounds their way through their intervals, I settle on keeping my treadmill pace at 3.9 - 4.0 mph where my heart rate is still up, but I don't feel nauseated or like I cannot breathe.

Fast forward to Saturday morning. My "Low-n-Loaded" class is not running so I decide to hit "Cardio Kickboxing" instead.

More frustration.

More sucking wind.

The class is fast paced, which is difficult for me. I'm winded almost immediately. However, I try my best to keep up. When I simply cannot sustain a particular exercise I do what I do in D's "Low-n-Loaded" class - I march in place while I try to catch my breath. At 40 minutes into the class I am extremely overheated, my face once again resembling a bright red radish. And I am nauseated. So I take a few sips of water and duck out the door of the exercise room to walk around the gym - trying to slow my heart rate a bit, catch my breath and avoid barfing.

After 5 minutes of cooling down, I head back into the group exercise room to finish as much of the class as I can, which isn't much...

I am frustrated by the limitations of my body. I know, I know...my body is absolutely getting stronger and I can certainly do more now than I could a few months ago. However, I wish that my stupid lungs would catch up with the rest of my body and get with the d@#$ program already.

I'm tired of sucking wind.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Out of steam

I pretty much poop out this morning half-way through my personal training session.

"Did you eat breakfast?" personal trainer D asks me.

Um...yeah...that'd be a big fat "no."

A concerned D explains to me the importance of eating before a workout especially in the morning. There's something about "liver enzymes" and muscles and calories in the lecture she gives me, but most of it washes over. Mostly I'm thinking, "I know that I'm supposed to eat breakfast before I come to the gym, but it makes me so NAUSEOUS."

Then I find myself expressing the thought that is in my head about feeling nauseous when eating so early.

Throughout the remainder of our session while I'm huffing and puffing and desperately trying to get through the torturous sets, we converse about what I could be eating before my workouts. Toward the end of the session I decide that maybe I could drink some calories in the mornings. Some kind of protein shake maybe. Maybe that won't upset my stomach the way solid food seems to...

D gives me some suggestions of places I can go to look for protein shakes. Personal trainer E, working with another client, pipes up from the next bench over about adding some oatmeal to the shake to make sure it has the right balance of pre-workout carbs and protein.

So, I'll give it a try.

Still...

Mostly, I think I'm just kind of out of steam because my job has really ramped up. Breakfast or no breakfast I wake up each day knowing that it's going to be crazy and feeling kind of mentally/emotionally/physically exhausted before the day even starts.

And I'm not nearly done with the busy season...two and half months yet to go.

I can't be out of steam yet...but I kinda am.

I'm really tired.

Out of steam.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Not today

Yesterday I thought it was a cold.

Today I'm thinking it's allergies. Either way I'm feeling droopy and grumpy.

And on top of it I had a 12 hour work day. So no gym for me today.

But I will go tomorrow!

My gym bag is packed.

The alarm is set.

Come hell or high water or sniffles I am going to get in 45 minutes of cardio on Wednesday.

But for now, if y'all will excuse me, I really need to get some sleep. G'night.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Monday Blues

Warning: This is a whiny post.

So I'm kinda feeling blue today.

"Why?" you ask.

(And thank you for asking...)

Well, number one last night as I'm getting ready for bed: a massive allergy attack.

This attack has just everything: dry eyes that I want to claw out of my head, sneezing like you wouldn't believe, headache, and stuffy and drippy all at the same time. Down 3 Benadryl tablets that barely even touch this horror show. I head out to the living room so as not to keep my very pooped spouse awake with all of the snorting, sniffling, nose blowing and sneezing going.

Which leads me to the second reason I'm feeling blue today: not only does the Benadryl not really do much to stop the allergy attack, but it doesn't even knock me out.

So, to add insult to injury: insomnia.

Couldn't fall asleep for the longest time and didn't manage to hit any kind of deep sleep through the night. Am feeling foggy-headed this a.m. and pretty grumpy.

Which brings me to the third reason for feeling blue: did not exercise this morning because I was too beat and now I have to pack a gym bag so that I can get my exercise in this evening.

Oh, just my favorite time of the day to exercise!

And last, but certainly not least in the Why-Jenn-is-Blue-and-Grumpy-on-this-Grey-Monday-Morning: weigh-in day!

AND...

Weigh-in did not go well. True the number on the scale was down from last week so yay, but down only by .6 pounds. Not so great.

So, there ya have it, People...a very whiny post from a blue and grouchy blogger.

Hope you'll please accept my apologies, I'll be in a better mood later on and I'll come back with something a bit more on the cheerful and optimistic side soon...

** Addendum **


OK, I just did the BMI calculation and I feel better because I just realized that I am only 16 sticks of butter away from finally no longer being classified as "obese." That means that by the end of this Fall Fitness Challenge, my BMI will be in the high 20s where it hasn't been for quite some time. This is definitely full of The Awesome.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Still here! Crazed, but still here!

So this is the time of the year when my job gets crazy-crazy-crazy and I am in high gear just about non-stop everyday from now until Christmas. This past week:

Monday and Tuesday just kind of a blur of many hours at my desk prepping for client meetings later in the week

Wednesday = overall insanity with a few fires to put out, people to manage and meetings, meetings, meetings (mostly in-house, but one client meeting an hour drive from my office) Came home and collapsed on couch to catch up on DVR'd episodes of "Project Runway." Too pooped to blog.

Thursday = a 12-hour day (after a personal training session at 6:00 a.m.) Came home at 8:30 p.m. Here's my conversation with my lovely husband:

ME: Hi.

HUSBAND: You look beat.

ME: I love you. I'm going to bed.
End of conversation

I'm not even sure that I kissed him goodnight. Just stumbled to the bathroom to brush my teeth then stumbled into the bedroom to remove my clothes and collapse in bed. I'm pretty sure that the husband came to check on me and say goodnight, but it's a pretty hazy recollection.

Yesterday =
8:00 - 9:30 a.m. event at work
9:30 - 10:15 help clean up conference center after event
10:15 get on computer for 15 minutes
10:30 gather stuff and dash out to car
10:30 -11:15 drive to first client meeting of day
11:15 - 11:32 get detoured and have a hard time finding parking
11:32 - 11:35 race to meeting because am now five minutes late, Holy Crapballs!
11:35 - 12:15 client meeting
12:15-12:30 drive to next client meeting
12:30 get soaked dashing into restaurant for lunch meeting
12:30 - 2:30 enjoy lunch meeting with client
2:30 - 3:30 make follow up notes in my car
3:30 - 4:15 do some quick shopping...am at an "in-between" size right now...don't have much to wear
4:15 -4:45 drive home
4:45 discover there's no lettuce in the house and call husband to request a stop on his way home
4:45 - 5:00 loaf around on computer for a few minutes
5:00 - 5:30 deal what I'm going to wear for date with husband while he preps dinner...put on pair of jeans that I discover are too big (Yay!) Rummage through older thinner wardrobe and grab a pair of jeans I know won't fit yet, but decide to try them on anyway. They fit!!! Just for kicks and giggles, pull out an old favorite jacket. Try it on - doesn't quite fit, it's snug when I zip it up, but it looks OK so I'm going to wear it! Yay! Iron everything
5:30 - 6:00 dinner
6:00 - 7:40 drive to concert
7:40 - 8:00 get seats and wait for show to begin
8:00 - 10:40 show is great!
10:40 - 12:15 drive home
12:30 - collapse in bed

Today = get up at 7:30 to hit the gym for 8:00 a.m. "Low-n-Loaded" class with Donna. AND I throw in an additional 30 minutes of cardio on a bike after my class!!! A first for me. NEVER would have done that pre-Fall Fitness Challenge!

So, I didn't make it to two classes this week, but I ate well  in spite of crazy schedule and made my five gym visits, attended one class and my personal training session. All in all - can't believe that I am managing to do this living healthy stuff at the height of my job craziness, but am really happy that I'm trying my hardest.

Now, if i could only get my house cleaned...